Function Drinks: The Review.

Design, Health, Reviews by Richard

Function Drinks are the brainchild of Dr. Alex Hughes, an orthopedic surgeon at UCLA Medical. He combined his studies in engineering and medicine to develop a line of drinks with health benefits. There were certain substances that he saw being used by physicians to treat patients, and he figured that he could make a drink that brought these substances and their benefits directly to consumers.

The Function line currently consists of 8 different types and 10 different flavors:
Youth Trip: containing antioxidants to help protect your skin from harmful UV damage from the inside out
Urban Detox: Helps fight hangovers and rids your lungs and sinuses of the harmful effects of pollution
Shock Sports: Sports recovery drink with anti-inflammatory power to ease sore muscles and joints after a workout
Alternative Energy: Naturally based energy drink
Vacation: Helps elevate mood and concentration and aids relaxation.
House Call: Contains macronutrients that help strengthen your immune system and speed recovery if you do get sick.
Light Weight (comes in 3 flavors, Dragonfruit, Pink Grapfruit and Acai Pomegranate) and helps to block carbs and burn fat and calories.
and my favorite: Brainiac: helps boost memory and mental acuity.

Each of these drinks is all-natural and sweetened with evaporated cane juice, except for the Light Weight drinks, which are sweetened with Splenda. In my experience (and I’ve tried all of these), the best tasting ones are Brainiac, Vacation, & Urban Detox. Some of them taste more medicinal than others (Alternative Energy and House Call, in particular), but those are probably the best for you… you know how that goes.

Function drinks can be purchased both on and offline… online, you can buy a case of 24 for $36, which works out to $1.50 each… offline, your best bet is to look for them at the nearest Whole Foods, but they can also be purchased at Hows Markets, Famima stores and Equinox Gyms. Definitely check them out!


Comments (11)

11 replies on “Function Drinks: The Review.”

They look fine and apparently they taste fine…but did they provide the benefits advertised?

Some of that’s hard to measure, but for instance, did you feel more energetic after drinking Alternative Energy? How about Braniac—did it make you feel smarter?

Just curious. I tend to be pretty skeptical of products like this.

Honestly, I drink a Rock Star Diet Energy drink just about every day. I like it because of the B vitamins and the 200% dose of Vitamin C, and my morning dose of caffeine for my commute to work. All for the low price of 20 some calories. Yes, I’m a calorie counter. I’ve lost 70 some odd pounds doing so and plan to keep it off by fighting my genetic metabolism every step of the way.

What I hate is these types of drinks sporting all these benefits, yet still range in the 100 calorie range, just like VitaWater or whatever is being sold right now. Given the research I could honestly see myself drinking 2 to 3 types of these drinks in a day, because I do beleive in the benefits of some of these natural stuff like green tea eccg stuff. I could probably get just as much benefit from drinking lipton diet green tea, or a huge can of Arizona diet green tea. They are easier to get and 0 calories.

I’ll be watching this site to see when they post the other “Nutritional information” sections on all the drinks. If some of them end up being low calorie (10-20% that of the other drinks they already have listed) I might give them a try.

Heh…I jumped straight to the site and read before I finished your write up.
They should have the splenda option for a few more of the drinks.


Yes, I did feel more energetic after drinking Alternative Energy… It wasn’t a caffeine-type instant kick, but more of a sustained boost throughout the day…

Brainiac didn’t actually make me feel smarter (that’s sort of hard to quantify), but it contains ingredients that have been clinically proven to help with mental acuity and memory (soy phosphatidylserine (PS), ginkgo biloba) and so I think it’s a safe bet that it does work… in my line of work, anything that potentially helps my memory is a good thing :)


These aren’t all diet drinks. They’re put together for specific purposes, and perhaps the caloric intake for them is necessary, given what they put in them, I don’t know.

Splenda is found in the one (Light Weight) that is supposed to speed your metabolism and help you lose weight… that seems appropriate.

Alternative Energy has no competition. It is the best energy drink on the market that I have tried and I have tried quite a few. I drink a few a week and you get energy that you are unaware of, it that makes any sense. You feel fully awake, but not jittery, etc. I haven’t tried all of the drinks, but the ones I have tried definitely work and are great tasting. It is difficult to know for sure, but I consider myself a skeptic and I feel lucky that I ran across these drinks.

I agree with Brian… Alt. Energy has one me over… the other drinks are good for other purposes as well. I don’t understand all of the science, but it seems pretty legit. Evidently the founder is a UCLA surgeon.

Thanks for this post! After reading this, I saw these drinks at a store in San Francisco (Rainbow) and I tried a few. Love Alternative Energy and Urban Detox.

it’s cool to see these drinks getting some attention online — up until now I thought they were my own personal secret weapons. I train (cross country) with Alternative Energy — AWESOME for endurance sports, time-release energy, and I study with Brainiac — whether it’s psychosomatic or not, it truly helps with cram study sessions.
haven’t tried the others, but rumor has it they’re going to be at whole foods soon.
no more online ordering for me!

No spamming – it’s great. I used to be a diet pop addict (like 200+oz per day! yike!) and i’ve cleaned up my act. But I miss the caffeine (coffee – ugh!)
Tried alternative energy, and the flavor is odd. Not bad, just odd. But the energy I got from it was wonderful!
Also tried urban detox. VERY yummy!
Looking for more… we are soooo behind in Michigan!

where in canada are the stores that carry these energy drinksÉ I love them an d can only find them in one place so I was hoping that someone couls send me either info on how i can have them delivered by fed ex tomorow
thank you so much please jsut let me know where a vender would be

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